Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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