were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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