did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
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