I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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