? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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