Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
