sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
