Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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