I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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