This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
