2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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