Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
