i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
