He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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