I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
