We're facebook friends in real life
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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