Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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