he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
don't judge my taste in strippers
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
