What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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