I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
