We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
