addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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