not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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