Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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