; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
