i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
