Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
