If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
