do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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