Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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