So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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