Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
