He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My bed smells like the plague
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
