i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
