what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
