Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
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Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
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Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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