Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
