His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
True strength comes from lack of pants
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID