When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"