it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.