so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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