When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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