One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
