I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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