i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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