so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
