he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
