Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Shame - the story of my life.
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