I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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