the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she peed on how many people?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
