He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize