I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
