You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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