kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
