Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
