It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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