hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
