My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
