Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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